Nurul.

rainbow.

2008-08-11T00:29:44Z

"and when it rains on your parade,
look up rather than down. without the
rain, there would be no rainbow."

"to get to the rainbow,
you have to put up with the rain."

i had a lovely national day spent with
the rainbow after the rain, and the fireworks.
the heart's incomplete in the sky, well the rest is up
to you and i to decide. and i'm glad to have spent this day
with you. thank you for showing me a good time, humphrey.

♥ van der woodsen.

what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

2008-07-28T01:12:33Z

a public entry.

edited, 11:06AM. PEACE & ENOUGH.

"when hate is brought upon us, we feel as if the
only thing we can do is hate them back, but those
who hate are just ignorant and confused."

well i guess in this world, its just fair that
there will still be ones who hate you, and of course,
the ones who will always love you. yesterday's history
and tomorrow's a mistery, all you need is the courage
and strength to move on with your life, and be happy.

"hate is too great a burden to bear. it injures
the hater more than it injures the hated."

uhm, you can keep beating around the bush.

peace and love,
♥ nurul.

edited, 6:45AM. TRUST NO ONE.

"i believe that everything happens for a reason.
people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong
so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe
lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and
sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"trust no one, but yourself."

yep, that's right, exaggerate your stories. -___-"
oh, such atrocity. am i supposed to be affected by that?
i don't have to prove anything to anyone of you, do i?
i don't live in a deluded world and i'm not one to believe
what everyone says. i knew that way before you do, hah.
a sad kid and her bunch of crap to get people to hate me.

"i know. i don't know what to say. she wrote that in my
house. when i read it i went numb. i can't even say shit or
else we'll start fighting again. i'm sorry. this is so weird.

tell me about it, i wish everything can be fucking true
and normal. everything is so dramatic and fucked up.
glen is so confused. sofie and most of her friends treats
her like dirt but yet she's ok with it but she's so angry
with you all the time and with me over small little stuffs.

if you think that was heartless, you should have
listened to what she said to me all those time when
she was with her "friends" and i tried talking to her.

i'm always bringing up that topic about true friends
to make her realise but she'll just say something like
its ok as long as got many friends that kinda shit."

true what your boyfriend said to me yesterday.
well i hope you get what you wish for, a big fan club of
nurul-hater friends. like someone close to my heart quoted,
its the flaws in a person that makes them human.

i guess that explains why you're so flawless.

peace and love,
♥ nurul.

thanks for the comments on my journal, loves.
i guess there's one thing we should always live by,
and that is to trust no one but yourself. xoxo.

"what doesn't kill you,
only makes you stronger."

ha, ha. why, because i make fat look good?
well i can blurt out SO MANY things that your boyfriend have
said to me about you, but girl, i won't sink that low to your level.
all these while i couldn't care less with your insults towards me
but now you've gone way too far. i've closed one eye, and now i'm not
letting you judge me like that again. what's up with exaggerating
the whole chunk of story? well, if that's what you have always
been wishing for, to make people loathe me, good for you.
we all know how much you've been hating me, but well.

there's always two sides of the story, isn't it?

and no, we first had an argument because he knows that
i'm not into him anymore and he's begging me to love him
and treat him like before. and then i wanted to get out of
the car because i realise pitying him and agreeing to meet him
up in the first place turned out to be a very wrong move, but he
forced me all the way to YOUR place, and that's when i said to him,
YOU'RE SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT HER BUT NOW YOU'RE
HANGING OUT WITH HER, WHAT IS THAT? and he said, no,
i'm not hanging out with her, my friends are. -____-"

and so we argued and i tried so hard to get out of the car.
well, what can i say? he ABUSED ME PHYSICALLY, yet again and
i called the police to report him for assaulting me and driving
without a license, which i know i'd get into shit myself for
getting in the car in the first place. i still made that call.

i've been tolerating his nonsense for years, isn't it
fair that i do the right thing for myself from now on?
shouting in my ears & making fun of me in front of everybody
else while i stood still and hold back my tears. poking his
fingers in my ears and treating me like a fool. because you
hate me, of course you're going to say i deserve that.

well what would you do if your ex-boyfriend punched you in the face?
(yes, he's my ex-boyfriend, who can't accept the fact that i've left him)
and he didn't even stop punching you all over. yeah, you could say
i deserved that punch, but i'm sure you wouldn't like it if it
happened to you. i had no choice but to call the police.

and if they were going to ask where it all happened, in the car,
so what am i supposed to say if they asked, who was driving it?
obviously i knew the consequences and i had to tell them the truth.
now you're assuming the wrong things and making up stories that is
not even true. because why, you want people to hate me and like you.

why, because you're just lacking of true girlfriends? you have one
who teaches you to do drugs, and wait, who else is there? like your
boyfriend has said to me, when you have no one else, you look for
him, because nobody else wants to be good friends with you.
now correct me if i'm wrong, i'm just saying what i was told.

and NO, i'm not at all jealous of the "FUN" you people are having.
if that's what you call FUN, then so be it, jees. i shouldn't bother
typing all this out for people to see, but i'm not letting you judge me
like that when you clearly don't know what the fuck really happened.

if you're so disgusted, then why'd you keep looking?
and what's up with whining about how fat i am and how ugly i look?
and my pimples? why does it all matter to you anyway? you're so hot,
sexy, curvy, nice boobs, nice ass, perfection and everything else.
girl, you should be staring at yourself instead. -____-"
and not care about what other people look like.

you wanted to beat me up? so why didn't you? dare to say it,
then girl, do it. you just love looking for trouble don't you?

and i'm not surprised if my ex-boyfriend, carl, is being two-faced
with you. he's just a little kid who craves for "FUN" with you people
because in the end, he's always the one who comes running back to me.
and what does that dude who thinks i look bad in this and that say?

i still love you still no matter what shit you do to me.
we are still together no matter what shit you do to me.

i didn't say any shit about you. you believe glen
then go ahead. but we are still together.

if you pity that dude for having such a bitch in his life,
then my dear, could you help me persuade him to leave?

since you've mentioned he's like "your brother" yes,
a brother who's talked amounts of shit about you and
wants to smack you up for talking lots of shit about me.

yes, i could be that bitch from hell but if he's so disgusted
with me (like how you're trying to imply to everyone else) then
he won't be begging me and calling me a hundred times again and
again even after the whole damn brouhaha. telling me he loves me
and missing me so much and, i could really go on, but you get the
picture. i love eating and i like being fat, or whatever you call
it. and its not my problem if you're so flat top to bottom. i'm happy
with who i am and what i look like, i'm touched you'd actually care.

just because you've been calling me FAT since years ago, i'm gonna
slim down and look good for you? girl, please. i'm fat, so deal with it.

i didn't call for a fight, but you stating things like that
about me which is not even true, i'm not letting you do that.
and you were the one who pulled my hair from the back and kicked
my stomach and spitted on me when we had that fight a couple of
years back, remember? i don't even know what that as was all
about but well i really hope you're happy now, gangster.

and anyway, whatever you quoted me with on your blog, that
is not what i said. you're just trying so hard to make me look
bad. its no surprise if your 'what-you-call-friends' hate
me so much, God knows what you've been telling them.

you know, i could go on saying nastier things about you, but
what's the point? you go around saying utter bullshit about
other people all the time, but look at what's left around you.
but i guess this is just your way of making you feel good about
yourself when your friends aren't around. i just cannot bring
myself to accept what you've said about me. it was truly
horrible how you're making up such stories like that.

well, what goes around, comes around. and i hope with that
thing you do, you finally get what you wish for, true friends.

isn't it natural for humans to talk bad about people they hate,
well you are a good example, glennys. i don't hate you, and i don't
need to find any reason to. i've apologised and i am apologising
again to you now glennys, for causing you all that hassle, since i
know you're reading this. i'm not asking you to like me, so hate me
if you must because i'm only here to state my side of the truth.

and then again, i have always known the reason why
you hate me so much, probably because i was once
your dearest boyfriend's beloved ex-girlfriend.
his archives could serve you as a reminder.
i'm probably that bitch he complains to
whenever he has CATFIGHTS with you.

let bygones be bygones. i can go on
and on, but i guess this is it.

hey you, jiggaboo.

2008-07-17T06:00:42Z

"to be your girl."

what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
entry edited on thursday, 4:10PM.

hey you, jiggaboo. here's hoping you had a lovely day.
mmm, its like half past one, and where am i? at home balls.
yay, finally managed to skip work since i'm feeling unwell.
will be shaking my ass out later to meet up with jason.
he needs a little help in choosing a coach bag for his
girlfriend, awh, how sweet. i know right? jealous.

i've been addicted to the afters again, that i even ended
signin' up and having the afters, beautiful love, as my
freaking call tone. so give me a beep beep if you w'na listen, lol.

and so i went shopping after work last night. well, what
initially planned to be just manicure and pedicure also turned
out to be shopping on impulse again. got myself another butterfly
charm bracelet, butterfly hairclips and this black gladiator
sandals. i was looking for those high waisted black shorts
but couldn't find them, guess i'll just look for them
online. boy oh boy, i need some cash controlling man.
and probably a suga daddy. if you want a suga daddy,
make sure he's got lots of suga, haha. suga suga.

went to have mos burger for din din. i love the fish
burger so much and it seems to be the only thing i eat
there. okay, other than the yakiniku and teriyaki chicken
and okay, i've tried almost all, ha. yes, everything's yummy.
especially the ichigo bliss that used to cost a dollar for
three, but now they've increased the price and the berries
are like so small? uh, okay, i'm really hungry right now.

ugh, jees, why can't you just leave me alone for pete's sake.
wait, who's pete? i'm always forced into this whole damn thing
when i'm clearly just not that into you. i'm not hoping for us
to reconcile anymore because i've had enough. i've had enough
of you and your excuses and bla, bla, bla. i can go on and on
but ah, i really don't care. i don't know why i always end up
pitying you when i know i shouldn't. and jees, now you're even
FLIRTING WITH YOUR GOOD FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND, lol.

well, well, well, tell me what's new? haha.
like they say, a leopard never changes its spots.
tsk, tsk, animal. ah, whatever floats your boat.

dickhead. says:
you still can't leave me babe.

dickhead. says:
i'll make you so fucked up that you wanna die.

forced to love you, to stick with you and now to hang out
with you. ugh, i'm such a bitch to say this, but whatever.
you tried to lure me again, haha, i never will fall for that.
you're fucking boring, broke and dry. i'm not interested.

that aside, i promised you some pictures from last weekend.
so here it is, with the people that rocked the damn night.

and so, i was out with my momma and brother last night.
to jurong island to send some thangs to the ship and back
to our house in indonesia. and then we were all listening to
misteri jam dua belas in the car and both of them were like
trying to freak me out, jees. i was all alone at the back, man.
i got quite freaked out and a little mad and my mom was like
alalala, sayang dia.. hahahaha. so funny lah. pengecot.

got home and listened to it again, and the audio clip really
freaked me out. so as usual, i slept with mom and now i'm up to
do a little bit of the house chores, and then out to boogey.

see ya, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

♥ nurul.

i don't mean to be MEAN.

2008-07-10T03:18:38Z

maybe i should lock this whole thing up.
oh yes, much tighter than your coochie.

i don't mean to be MEAN. but a friend of mine just
showed me som'thing that i really don't like. and i don't
wish to humiliate anyone or have enemies (whatever you call it)
but things like these really turns me off and it really gets on my
very last nerve. yes annevelysia, you know who i'm talking about.

scoff-scoff, you.

i see a whole CHUNK of things familiar to me.
very, very familiar. from the way i blog, to the choice
of words i've been using. and some things, phrases and whatever
nots are literally being copied & pasted. well, i guess imitation
really is the sincerest form of flattery? but some people just
try too hard. or is it just me being such a whiny little ass.

sorry to be such a betch, but a sweet girl
like you has got to have some originality.

girl, please.

♥ oodles of love, nurul. -___-"

i wanted you.

2008-07-07T01:15:35Z

"i wanted you."

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do,
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you,
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through,
But I can't go on this way, I've got to stop it babe,
You've been wonderful in all that you can be,
But it hurts when you say that you understand me,
So believe me, I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I.

I wanted you to be there when I fall,
I wanted you to see me through it all,
I wanted you to be the one I loved,
I wanted you, I wanted you,
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you to show me what I need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you.

I've been pushing hard to open up the door,
Trying to take us back to where we were before,
But I'm done, I just can't do this anymore,
'Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now,
We've been walking around in circles for some time,
And I think we should head for the finish line,
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I.

I wanted you to be there when I fall,
I wanted you to see me through it all,
I wanted you to be the one I loved,
I wanted you, I wanted you,
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you to show me what I need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you.

I, I.. I'm so sorry baby,
But I, I.. I gotta pack up and leave,
But I, I'll always remember how we came,
Close to being how I wanted to be,
I wanted you baby, I wanted you.

I wanted you to be there when I fall,
I wanted you to see me through it all,
I wanted you to be the one I loved,
I wanted you, I wanted you,
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you to show me what I need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you.

♥ nurul.

trust no one but yourself.

2008-07-05T00:39:31Z

"i believe that everything happens for a reason.
people change so that you can learn to let go, things go
wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe
lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and
sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"i regret, i know i'm in the wrong. i am
sorry for what i did, but you leaving me is
never going to happen. go ahead think about the
future but with me in it. you will not go anywhere.

no way in hell will i ever leave you. you can't leave
me either, no chance at all, i don't care. you can't go
away from me. i really don't care what you are going to
think of me. all i know is you are never going away from me.

really, there's no one that can take us away, i love you alot nu."

how could you just do me wrong, tell me you're
sorry, or how you regret, and still force me to stay?
& then the same thing repeats itself over and over again.
if this is your way of loving me, well it really hurts.

i tried to love you the same away again,
but i just, can't.

♥ n.

quote.

2008-07-03T04:55:22Z

"sometimes you have to forget about what
you want and remember what you deserve."

no surprise.

2008-07-03T00:47:48Z

"i feel sorry for you, but.."

i don't understand how some people can
be all.. "where are you? tell me please?"
"meet me lah fuck! meet me you fuck!"
"that's it man fuck you! you watch!"

and i don't know how he managed to sign in to my messenger
and then typed "i'm so horny right now" on my personal message.
a friend of mine told me about it, and i don't know what else to say,
the dude's probably truly mental. no worries, all password changed.

and then he goes saying, "we will meet nu don't
be dumb like your mum." first he said my dad was
crazy and now my mom? i don't see why this has got
anything to do with both my parents who are definitely
not anywhere close to crazy and dumb? bloody fool.

and then, about twenty minutes later, a sudden burst.

"babe i love you alot sia! i love you alot!"
"babe i just wanna meet please." and then..

"i love you and i will love you forever, i will
never give up on this. we will work at all cost.
i'm not letting you go. i love you and i'm missing
you alot now babe. you know it yourself we can
never be separated." i was left like this -___-"

and then he strikes again, "i love you alot baby."
"i know you love me too babe you're just hiding it."
"please reply babe, i'm gonna miss you alot."

and of course there's so much more than all that.
speechless? can't get any happier? surprised?

"babe i want you i love you i wanna be with you
forever babe. babe i want you i'll always want you
i love you. can we meet tomorrow babe please?"

i'll go with, I'M NOT SURPRISED AT ALL.
this is sick, you're sick and you're making me sick.
and i don't wish to humiliate you or take you as a fucking
joke but isn't that what you have always been doing to me?
treat me the way you want to be treated, you fool.

remember the times you always tell me this girl
and that girl turns you off, well, know what? you
are such a MAY-JAH turn off to me right now, jees.
looks can be really, really deceiving huh. -___-"
i'm getting so sick of you and i can't wait to..

ahem.
oh well, i love sushi.
mushi, mushi?

♥ nurul.

i don't want to wish bad things, but i don't wish you well.

2008-07-02T02:24:07Z

"i don't want to wish bad things,
but i don't wish you well."

12:51PM, well, what do you know. more than a
100 missed calls and "nobody can stop me" messages.
the next thing i know, he's right outside my house, again.

if killing myself was easy, i'd be the ghost
that's strangling your neck right now.

a stupid fool who just can't let go after umpteen times
of repeating his nonsense and selfless acts. and then you
have me, the stupid fool who keeps giving him the chances
he begs for, a fucking bloody fool indeed. let go, let go.

but he still has the fucking cheeks to say, i will never give up
and i'm never leaving you. i will come back after six months and
no matter what you say, we will still be together again.

i made it clear to him, that it is definitely, fucking over.
and please God, make this the last time i'm ever going to say
this. let go, let go. how i realize i've been pushing better
men away just for an animal like him, fucking animal.
blessed with good looks but a heart of mouse shit.

and yes, don't go around logging in to my account,
plastering your name and picture there as you wish, and
then trying to delete all of my accounts just because you're
unhappy that i don't wish to meet you and i'm letting you go.
fucking stop all your psycho nonsense of appearing at my doorstep
at four in the fucking morning, throwing stones through the window.
fucking grow up you sick, psycho, white trash, carl robert mccrindle.

you probably need mental help, you fucking need mental help.

and if you ask why? i never had the heart to believe that you are
really this fucking heartless. i guess i was very, very wrong.
i pity all the girls who have ever stepped into your life.
and probably the next unlucky one you are probably going to
fuck, leave and ruin. isn't that what you do all the time?

and because you fucked them and they were so bad in bed,
you call every single one of them sluts, you fucking moron.
getting back at me for leaving you by being such a jerk.
and making use of girls to forget me, you fucking animal.
you are just a complete dust without your bag of looks.
and that will always be the reason why girls stick to
you. looks and nothing else, good for nothing prick.
i should have never forgiven you, never should have.

we should all probably wait for a few days before you
grab your next female victim to fuck, leave and ruin.
and yes, she will then be called a slut. and her
pussy stinks, nipples ugly and bla, bla, fucking bla.
oh, fuck you. i must have been so foolish to believe you.
where are your fucking manners? at the tip of your cock?

after all the lying, the beatings and cheatings and after
three fucking years, you are still the same. living a life
in a sad, broken home, full of fucking lies and drama.
& don't you come crying to me like a little baby. like you
said, i'm the cry baby, so why are you acting like one?

and you know what? you will never change. and if i could
ever turn back time, i would have never even met you.

but i guess you were born in this world,
to help women grow stronger. i'm leaving you
and i'm never coming back. no matter what you say,
this is over. carl robert mccrindle, the game is over.
so much for needing me to guide you,
but you're just a disappointment.

goodbye, have a safe trip and good luck.

hush, just stop, there's nothing you can do or say,
baby, i've had enough, i’m not your property as from today,
baby, you might think that i won't make it on my own,
but now i'm, stronger than yesterday,
now it’s nothing but my way.

i'm sorry but i'm going completely insane.
oh well, i'll probably end up pitying his sorry ass
and deleting this anyway. breathe in, breathe out,
it's alright, i'm okay. mission accomplished.

♥ nurul.

here's to the future, cause i'm done with the past.

2008-06-24T02:35:37Z

there comes a point in your life, when you realize
who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who
always will. so don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

♥ nurul.

i will miss you, babe.

2008-06-18T00:52:27Z

"still, we both know that the road is long. we know
that we will be together, because our love is strong."

i don't know if this is good or bad news for me, but
i just can't seem to get it out of my head these days.
carl will be starting his course, and leaving for the UK
probably in about less than a month's time. how i'm feeling,
i just don't know how to put them into words right now.

God knows how happy i am for him, but deep inside, it saddens
me to know that he's going to be a million miles away from me.

know what, some things are just better left unsaid.
carl, thanks for the surprise and for everything else
you've done for me. you have never given up on me,
even after a thousand times i've left you.
we don't know what the future holds,
but i will miss you, my babe.

♥ nurul.

baby, i deserve more than empty words and promises.

2008-06-08T09:54:34Z

"baby, i deserve more
than empty words and promises."

so many things have happened,
and i don't even know where to begin.

i have been spending so much time at work, especially
when i'm feeling a little more hardworking than usual,
i'll get a few hours of over time done, ha. all's good.

work has been fine, though it can get pretty tiring when
i have to travel in and out of the yard to send or collect
important documents for the big bosses. i'm starting to hate
cab rides, sometimes four to five of them in a day and i'll
always end up with a terrible, terrible headache. well, even
C mentioned how working in a shipyard is unhealthy for me, ha.

on a brighter note, i've been having good ol' times with
the loved ones. and everyday indulging has gotten me much
fatter, but you know what? i'm happy, and its all that matters
to me. food glorious food, yum, yum, yum. i can list all of the
things i've been indulging myself into lately, but i don't wish
to get you and i hungry right now. ha, my tummy's growling.

i'm sure you will soon notice, MISTER MOP-NO-MORE, had a haircut.
he came over to yishun on one of those nights, and we both went
to get a haircut. well, i trimmed my hair, but boy oh boy i'm
glad he's got them locks snipped. he looks so much better this way.
i'm pretty sure we both know the major reason why he got that haircut.
we all knew him as that, but its a good time for a change.

we both went to have dinner and he's so addicted to
mutton soup, i promised to take him to adam road for
that, probably soon. YUM, YUM, YUM. food, glorious food.

C insisted on having lunch with me the day after,
so he came over all the way to tuas with a paper bag.
guess what was inside? a huge tupperware of PASTA, aww.
yes, he cooked it all for me, ha. i didn't manage to finish
it all though, but it's the thought that counts, thanks C.
it was raining all so heavily, and he only had an hour to
spend with me. you shouldn't have bothered babe, but thank you.

besides all that ning nong, ernie and i have been spending
a rolling good time together too. having lots of din din and
heart to hearts. reminiscing of the much younger days in our
almost ten years of friendship. we have spent memorable times
with a couple of my colleagues and we've bonded so much over
these past weeks. unforgettable times, babe. you know, i know.

three monkeys, cuscadens, san miguel, midori melon,
margaritas, pina colada, quesadillas, boys, booze,
lots of tight x's and sloppy o's, love you ernie.

spent a lovely time with carl and ernie just a few days ago.
went for dinner over at boat quay (favourite din-din hangout)
and regina was there with us too. spent some time together
before reggie had to leave, so it was just the three of us
sitting by the river, bonding, laughing, crooning and all.

we've planned to ride on that G-MAX BUNGEE thing in clarke quay.
probably next week! haha. i can hardly wait for that.

we bumped into jarell and the gang, then hung out with the
bunch as they insisted on having drinks together. C and i
left close to four in the morning and spent the rest of the day
with just the two of us. it was our monthly anniversary too, ha.

spent the day at his place. i was sleeping like a !@#$%&
and then he woke me up and SARR-PRRISE! mushroom noodles
and cheesy sunny side-up egg sandwiches he knows i love.
it tasted so good and i said it probably taste even better
than mine, he was so proud and happy of them. but babe, you
know i'm kidding, mine always tastes better. HA, JOSHING.

and so i was watching those national day parade thingies
last evening. they had some rehearsal going on, and the
parachutes were right above our heads. the boats and all
were all around us, ha. i'm excited for national day, lol.

C's dad and ernie thought he looked like those US ARMY,
NAVY, whatever you call it. and i think so too, haha.

while you were sleeping. we were both really tired
since we didn't have ourselves enough rest from the night
before, so eventually, we both fell asleep.

i guess he's really taking all the chance he has left.

you'll always be a part of me, i'm part of you indefinitely,
girl don't you know you can't escape me, oh darling cause
you'll always be my baby, and we'll linger on, time can't
erase a feeling this strong, no way you're never gonna shake
me, oh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.

and here's little oompa loompa for you.

shopping at river island and accesorize tomorrow.
have a good week ahead all. DON'T DO DRUGS, BITCHES.

♥ infinite x's and o's, nurul.

i will always find it hard.

2008-05-25T06:26:28Z

"you blow a kiss,
but it just don't feel the same."

he surprised me on a date,
and brought me to carousel for dinner.

yeah, and i still find it hard to accept him back into my life.

so don't try to say you're sorry, or try to make it right,
don't waste your breath because it's too late,
it's too late.

♥ nurul.

there was only you and me.

2008-05-20T03:32:12Z

"we've been down that road before,
but that's over now."

"i just want you to know i'm ready to put my everything
to you and i will cherish you forever. i love you baby.
no one knows how badly i want you. i want to keep you, forever."

you've been showering me with these words, and i still find it
hard to ever trust you again, but i guess we'll never know.

i find myself constantly falling in love to the distinctly
husky voice of bryan adams. men sure do sound better that way.
wasn't at all a productive sunday, glued my ass home all day
and stucked to the television. ah, the perfect lazy sunday after
a whole hard night of partying with a bunch of nice doofs.

and so friday, smokin' sheesha with ernie and a couple of my work
mates, iz and fai. did a whole night of puffing and stoning then i
had to leave to meet a certain someone. spent the rest of the night
with him, just sweet nothings and whatever nots. woke up the next
morning and he falou'ed me home, and then we travelled to vivo city
for a satisfying lunch at carl's junior. oh boy was it a heavy lunch, and
we still managed to finish it. five kee-lows added to my tummy and thighs.

parted ways after i met up with ernie, and then it was PARTY.
with ernie, lani, danial, ken, fai, iz and a bunch of other people.
it was a crazy, crazy night since smoove was at the main arena and
everyone was swayin' and boogeying hard. shawdy got low, low, low.

boozing out at the riverside point, with the whole buncharoo.

left past four since he insisted on meeting, so i went to see him
and his bunch of boys at the central mall. hung around and i left at
five, hopped on the cab home and wullah, fat pig laid across the bed.

and that was almost five in the morning with him, me shaggedoo.

a pretty fine monday morning, travelled to east coast for a picnic
with the familia. grandma, my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and
nephews were all there. i had lots of food again, guilty, another
five kee-lows added. we went cycling, playing by the beach and all
that ning nong, so much fun. brought home a fat ass jar of nutella.
yum, yum, i can have nutella on toast for breakfast now, hee.

what happens when the kids take over the grill?
flying sausages and barbecued lemons, haha, kids.

above, kak leene, danish, dania, noah and i.
below, my cousin and i, cookie monster and pink panther, ha.

color swapping, messing around & funs with my camera.

below, grilled oompa loompa.
ahhh, gotta pinch those bubble cheeks.

look at his tiny little feet.
i want to squeeze each and every toe, haha.

look at how loompa baby has grown. @#$%&! i just want to bite him.

i might have to apply for a six days leave next week, the familia's
heading back to indonesia. but i don't know if i w'na go. i haven't
been there for maybe a couple of years or more, and i kind'a missed
my home there. this time noah and danish is coming along too, awh.

spent tuesday with carlo, since he wanted to meet after i ended work.
we went walking around lot 1, and that place has changed quite a bit.
memories of that place with our bunch of friends, meeting almost
everyday. (i think that was in 2005?) carl, me, ernie, raz, fara,
nat, safwan, fir, man, ijat, alipo and ahhh, so many more. those
were the good ol' days that we've been missing so much. our outings
to the beach and all that, awh. so anyway, carl and me were thinking
of a place to eat and then i suggested al-ameen since carl was craving
for the damn mutton soup. we had spicy stingray, chikkin and rice.
then we hopped on a bus to the rail mall for desserts. spent the
whole night scratching each other and talking about everything
under the moon. funs with the dude. and now i'm hungry.

so uh uh yea, glory, glory, man united. MANCHESTER UNITED
won the match against chelsea, hee. i was getting ready for
work when i watched the penalty kicks, and sha-sha-sha-boo-ya.
jumped for joy. jumped even higher when i saw NUMBER 7, haha, right.

and yes, i'll leave you with this. i've got lots of work to do now.
can't wait for lunch, which will be in about an hour's time.

"i finally realize what i was doing is wrong and you're the
only one that would be there for me and take care of me.."

we'll never know what the future holds.
but thank you, for loving me.

♥ nurul.

the girl can't help it.

2008-05-14T02:26:55Z

"but i've got to get a move on with my life,
its time to be a big girl now,
and big girls don't cry."

you know some things are rather strange,
when you're anticipating for work every day.
but the days have been really sweet.
it's so nice to be happy, indeed.

♥ nurul.

Glory, Glory, Man United.

2008-05-11T10:49:22Z

"Glory, Glory, Man United."

you never knew what you had, until i really left.

i just don't really know what else to say,
'cept that life keeps getting better for me
each day, alhamdulillah. i know what i want now,
and i have always known what it is, but stubborn is me.

it no longer matters to me, when you say you're never leaving
and you will do whatever it takes to make me love you again.
there's nothing left for you here, not a space in my heart.

pains you to see me really gone doesn't it?

maybe we're trying, trying too hard.
maybe we're torn apart.

♥ nurul.

the right kind of wrong.

2008-05-03T05:53:02Z

"baby, you're the right kind of wrong."

i just got back from work not too long ago and well
just watching time go by. oh girl, i am extremely tired.
will be spending the night with sweetheart junie and
some friends. carl wants to meet too, but we'll see.

friday morning was quite a surprise, carl was right
outside my window at five in the morning, hoh. -____-"
shan't elaborate. but well the rest of the day was pretty
good, spending time with the dude and a bunch of others.

we had dinner and went window shopping and the whole night
was filled with so much laughter, just him and i, oh well.
some things are just better left unsaid, but thank you.

ahhhh, horny emo boys on the prowl.
and watch below, tee-ass wants some more.

carl: you both look like brothers and sisters.
nurul: -____-" okay, haha.

well yeah, i guess we're just kind of inseparable.

checkin' out my phone, beep, beep.
i'm getting an i-phone soon, hopefully, ngehe.

2005 ~ 2008

well i kind'a feel like i'm starting to appreciate
the little things that he does lately, and i know he's
trying to change. but i don't know, what does my heart say?
i guess some people just never know what they've got until
its gone. he had his chances, but he blew them all away.
the lyrics of this song just means it.

have a good weekend.

♥ nurul.

oh baby.

2008-05-01T15:22:22Z

it's been a while, and i know i shouldn't have kept you waiting.
but i'm here now.

we can turn the heat up if you wanna,
turn the lights down low if you wanna..

♥ nurul.

new asia bar.

2008-04-25T17:52:09Z

new asia bar, on the 70th floor of swissotel the stamford.
definitely one of the most gorgeous places i've ever been.

♥ nurul.

i'd slap you, but shit splatters.

2008-04-16T13:10:40Z

same shit, different female.

when girls just wanna have fun
and boys just wants to get laid.

"and see what happens, i'm not talking
to her, but i gain a phone."

hello moto?

perhaps we females need a 99 cent hand book. on how to
tell when a guy just wants a little whiff of that coochie.
(and definitely a replacement for his long lost cellphone)

when his heart says no and his penis says yes.
never give up your self respect and morals for
such trash. save yourself from the heartache.

it has been almost three years, but the thought of him just
irks me sometimes, like chunky vomit oozing out of my nostrils.
i'd love to say much, but i'd hate to go on yapping forever.

on another note.
sad, you've shut those gates.
but he just keeps running back to you.

"i'm not leaving you no matter what you say.
however mean you are i'm not leaving. i will
be with you. i'm gonna do whatever it takes."

i'd slap you, but shit splatters.

♥ nurul.

2003.

2008-04-04T01:05:35Z

five years ago.
and what will it be like five years from now?

♥ nurul.

tres magnifique.

2008-03-12T16:55:20Z

WE SURE ARE CUTE FOR TWO UGLY PEOPLE.

okay, its past 12 midnight, a chop chop on this one.
the thought of having to drag them booties to that bum
sore tomorrow just, @!#$%& urgh. so sick, so, so, sick.
lovely monday, i got up in the morning, sick. i told you
i kept coughing and coughing like mad. and apparently it got
pretty much worst when i woke up. dry cough or something.

surprised babe at his place. his dad was at the front door
when i arrived, chatted for a bit and went up to babe's room.
stinky pig was still in his sleep, so i tickled his nose and
it took him about eight seconds to finally wake up and realize
that i was right smack in front of him. the look on his face, jee.
he was extremely shocked, like he just saw a damn ghost, silly.

forced him up and as usual, "nu, geli geli please.." tak habis habis.
we were thinking of places to eat and changing appetites came to our
sleepy heads but carl changed his mind and suggested, carousel.
called them up and made a reservation, left the house a few hours
later to the doctor, my cough was really bad. after all that ning nong,
we finally got our bums to carousel. food was tasty, has always been.

had lots and lots of food, the chikkin was really good.
the bread and butter pudding too, yum. had a really, really,
really nice time with carlo. i'd really love to elaborate much,
but yea. spent the rest of the night together, met up with jasbir
and a few other friends. dinner with the bunch, gobbled up again.

after dinner was the arcade, then counterstrike and battlefield.
the whole night was fantastic and then i got extremely tired.
reached bukit panjang and i was supposed to hop on the other bus
to yishun, but boy oh boy, i couldn't take it. wasted them dollar
bills on a cab ride back. jees, start saving already! -____-"

pictures taken sometime last week, ohhhh, food glorious food.
brought carl out for lunch and we had delifrance! casual french, ooh.
anything french. told khaty i'd be taking french classes, tres magnifique.

was in the office yesterday and i kept coughing like every ten minutes
or so, it was really distracting and cold. skipped work this morning,
apparently still having them terrible coughs, urgh. got up surprisingly
early, showered and left for bukit panjang. called carl's dad and got
him breakfast, well for carl too. lazed all day, watched juno again.
got carl addicted to the moldy peaches. oh, you should watch hard candy
too, starring ellen page, loved that one. it was indeed a perfect weather
for a nice nap, and so we did, pigs but carl was the stinky one. got up
in the afternoon and we got pretty hungry. went down, whipped up some
noodles with sausages. spent another hour lazing around then left his
place to meet up with jasbir and some friends. boy, was it raaaining.

everyone thinks carl needs a haircut, hee.
but we don't think so, yet, hehe. sigh, i'm starting
to miss you already carlo. (not a good sign..) -______-"

dinner at dhoby ghaut and then counterstrike and battlefield with
the boys. brought the boys to gloria jean and they fell in love with
the moisty mud cake and ice chocolate, haha. wasted some time and then
they finally sent me home. here i am, still coughing and feeling cold.

"did you fart? ew, smelly."
"where got smelly? smell of you, sweet and cute."

it's bedtime.
oodles of love, au revoir.

♥ nurul.

you.

2008-03-08T03:15:12Z

to lose you, has never been a loss to me.

deviant girl.

2008-03-07T02:30:34Z

http://n-urul.deviantart.com

i'd always hoped for better,
thought maybe together you and me would find it,
i got no plans i ain't going nowhere,
so take your fast car and keep on driving.

i remember we were driving, driving in your car,
the speed so fast i felt like i was drunk,
city lights layed out before us,
and your arms felt nice wrapped round my shoulder.

and i got a feeling that i belonged,
and i get a feeling that i can be someone..

oh, fageddaboudit.

in this life.

2008-03-01T05:20:29Z

don't care what people say, follow just your own way.

♥ nurul.